28 December 2009

Demo Peek: Army of Two: The 40th Day (PS3, Xbox 360)

Okay, a lesson learned. One should never say things like 'this is the worst excuse for a game like forever' like I did in the previous entry about Dante's Inferno. Because there always will be something that is actually even worse, even in those cases you were completely sure of your judgement.

So let's just say Army of Two: The 40th Day is the worst excuse for a game like forever - for now. Where do I start? First of all, the mind boggles about the fact EA releases a sequel no is interested in because no one was interested in the first game. But that's EA today. Not having a clue about... well, anything. On a more personal level, I wanted to throw up when going through the phases in the demo. This isn't even a game! Just press the 'GPS button' and follow the glowing arrows on the ground. Then press the buttons the game wants you to. Then shoot some stupid generic enemies. Going to a shop during post-Christmas sales is more of a game than Army of Two sequel.

Let's see what else is bad in the game. Macho bullshit. All over it, spilling over the brim. It starts with hulking and bulking character models with proportions and features out of a WildStorm comic. And that's not a compliment since I have always hated their screwed up take on human anatomy and facial structure. 'Max out the attidude, duuude!' continues with the lead's talk and actions, again something out of a WildStorm comic. Adolescent, shallow and immoral glorifying of violence justified by the... attitude, duuude!

Controls are lazy and clumsy, viewpoint awkward, level design unimaginative... the list goes on. I didn't find a single redeeming factor in the game demo. Damn it, next time I want to play a demo I can write at least one positive point about!
Just look at these guys! Man, are they 'ard!

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