5 March 2010

God of Lol

Poor PS3 still gathering dust...

Ooh, another PS3 exclusive super-mega-killer-app in sight, God of War III!!!1!!shift+1 Must download the demo right away! 2,7 gigabytes! It must be like so awesome, the biggest demo so far, bigger than the one for Uncharted 2. Can't wait!

(donwloading...)

(demo installing...)

(playing the demo)

(rolling eyes in disbelief)

What the hell is all the hype about? At its best, God of War III is a completely mediocre hack 'n slah and even that is stretching it. Audiovisually underwhelming and playing like a very poor copy of Heavenly Sword, the game is lacking drama in every turn and action. Not to mention the level of self-intentional violence that is completely off-putting and disgusting. Few games make me physically sick and this is one of them.

I didn't like God of War and God of War II on PS2. Technically they were impressive but the games were prisoners of their own genre, never breaking out of the mold to actually entertain. Also, I hate the main character Kratos, his laughably adolescent 'tough ass' attitude and ugly looks. Things haven't gotten any better on PS3 reincarnation. Quite the contrary. It doesn't look and feel like a PS3 game, it doesn't even look and feel like God of Wars on PS2. 'nuff said.

And the game has already scored big round 10's in every review I have read. Oh dear... I guess modern reviewers really don't have any perspective as to what is a good game and what is not. And God of War III certainly isn't a good game. Okay, okay, demo might be misleading but as demos go, they should push you to the shop. This didn't and that's all of God of War III I'll ever need.

"I don't like your head! I rip it off!" And indeed Kratos does. Disgusting.

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